and my hilariously beautiful life...

Monday, March 14, 2011

Unsolved Mysteries...

       Ever feel deep and thinky enough that reaching for a pipe while donning a dorky polka dot bow-tie and listening to the "music" my husband buys wouldn't seem unnatural?  Tonight I am entirely consumed by a single permeating thought.  It surfaces from time to time, like that peculiar reoccurring dream we all tend to have, or our shared desire to haphazardly run down the neat row of orange construction pylons who stare at us mockingly as if they know all too well, traffic tickets and heated lectures from our spouses would never permit us to act on such a whim.  
 I'm sure you've wondered it too.

"Why me?"

Of all the persons on this planet, most of whom live in poverty and are plagued with innumerable fears,  Why was I born, not one of them, but here, on the soil of the United States of America?
It seems to me that God could've ordained that I'd be a little girl in Africa, a precious child conceived in the womb a woman who's blood test would read positive for HIV.  Could I not have, just as easily, been that infant, the dear orphan baby who knows nothing of birthdays, who most likely won't see her second?

"Am I any more deserving than she is?" Surely not.

"Is it by chance, that as I breathed my first I was greeted by a silver spoon?"

I seek.  I knock.  I ask.

I listen.

"Why me?"

I search without understanding of something too great for my comprehension.  It matters not how hard or how long I ponder.  I shall never, as long as I remain on this earth, know the reason; for The Answer withholds such an answer from me.

So, for now, I embrace with all thanksgiving, the lavish wealth with which I have been so graciously endued, the family I do not deserve, and the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ which is the root of my beautiful country, my sparkling silver spoon.

Oh that I may take that precious knowledge to the lost and dying people of the world.  Oh that my words may give them life and hope.  May the Gospel of Jesus Christ delivered by my tongue and my pen, be the nation-changing power unto them that will someday cause their descendants to search into the depths of the universe for the ever unanswered question.

"Why me?"


  1. It is ever important to continue our daily search for the will of God for our lives (that day, moment) and the people we come into contact with and to share that openly without hesitation (in fact probably when we are least comfortable). Love it (Love you) - Be Blessed!!!

  2. side note: lovin' the green polka dotted page!

    i have to admit that i don't often find myself wondering the unanswerable 'why me' question but i often find myself overwhelmed with gratitude for simply, everyday things i have....literally, when i get into a hot shower i am in such euphoria that i almost always start thanking the Lord for such a gift, not only of hot water, but running water at all....i sometimes do the same when i look through the cupboards for something to eat....stopping to think how someone hungry would be overwhelmed with joy to have such choices....

    i once lived in downtown denver in one of those old, cool apartment buildings....and i walked three blocks to i'd leave via the alleyway for work every weekday....and i can say that very few things can be more humbling that catching someone going through what you've yourself discarded so that they can survive! i get livid with people who waste food!

    great food for thought're an amazing woman love!

  3. Amen...I am blessed and have wondered the same thing from time to time. Why did I get the opportunity to be born and live the life I have? I don't know...but I too am thankful for my silver spoon and am happy to serve God in appreciation.

  4. I am totally guilty of taking what I have for granted, and not appreciating the simple fact that even when things like my satellite aren't working, or my Cell phone is acting wonky and my neighbors are being rude and loud..I am blessed. I am an American, with a warm house that is paid for every month, my child is healthy and can see a Doctor when he is sick, and our water is clean.

    Our Water. I don't appreciate the simple fact I have clean water to drink that doesn't make me sick.

    I have been praying about this a lot lately. God has blessed me, my family and I don't have one thing in the world to complain about.
    This is one of the reasons I love you the most. You always make me reevaluate my thinking :)

  5. It's amazing how blessed we are and how easily it is to take it all for granted. I've had those thoughts too, and wonder what I can do more of to help others. Such a good reminder!!

    Love ya!



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